Injury Journey

The day of my accident I wasn’t sure what emotions I should have. Does anybody know what emotions to have? I was in soo much shock that I trying to assure people around me I was ok. Looking back, it should not have been me doing the reassuring. First, I had no clue exactly what had happened to me. Second, I was NOT ok. Try as hard as I can, there are pieces of my memory that are gone and not coming back. The day of my accident is one of them. I don’t remember my trip to the emergency room. But what I do remember is lying face down on the bed and realizing I couldn’t walk when they released me to go home. That was the first time I cried after the injury. Before my accident, I never considered myself an emotional person. I always allowed myself a cry once a month- normally coinciding with my period. It was basically scheduled. I would put on slow sad songs and give myself 5 minutes to let a few tears drop. Then I’d go on with my day. Outside of my monthly cries, crying was rare. Th

Within a split second, I felt a hard hit to the back of my head. All I saw was black as I tried my best to keep my balance. It all happened so fast. I was in shock as I tried to replay what happened, but it didn't make sense. None of it makes sense. I wasn't scheduled to work that day, and yet I was there. The curse of being on-call. The floor was "short" that day. In healthcare, the floors are almost always short. There are too many patients and too few providers. My weekends were filled with picking up shifts; my weekdays were filled with studying. I had dreams of working as a doctor providing healthcare to patients who desperately needed it. Never in my life would I imagine that one of those patients would be my attacker and the cause of my world being flipped upside down. In school, they tell you about job security. But, how secure is that job when your life is changed? They don't tell you about the increasing incidents of violent patients. Why is some

The problem with brain injuries is that they are invisible. The great design of the human body was for the brain to be enclosed and protected by the skull. On paper, that sounds great. But in many cases, like my own, but the brain still can be injured by extreme impact to the head. Life after my accident has been interesting. It feels like I am in a constant transition of how to perceive the intentions of others and observing how they perceive me. This dynamic is exhausting, but not nearly as exhausting as the process of recovery. Because of this, I often opt out of social events or gatherings. I used to love the holidays. But, after my accident that all changed. Holidays became a burden. Most of the people who I used to look forward to spending time with, now became unintentional sources of stress and anxiety. A gathering of friends, family, and fun has now been changed to being viewed as a symptom triggering environment. If I make it to the location without the ride there causing